Puck's Harem
by itsbenoitbitch01
Summary: The glee girls haven't been getting any and they want Puck to fill the void. Basically PuckXanyone other than Quinn.


**AN**: Though I like the lesbian Santana, for the purposes of my story, she'll be straight.

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><p>Noah Puckerman was walking on air as he walked into the choir room. He had sex last night. With the girl who was once again captain of the Cheerios. She'd been horny as fuck and trying to jump Puck's bones ever since she delivered their daughter. She was very ... vocal about everything. Nine months is a long time to go without fucking, Puck reasoned.<p>

The choir room was full of the girls, except for Quinn, but none of the guys. They looked up as he entered and started to exchange glances. Puck sits down in an empty chair in their midst, still unaware of their stares. He'd simply followed the instruction left in his locker. _Come to the choir room alone. Tell no one. ~Q_ In his post-coital haze Puck simply thought it was Quinn looking for round two.

It was Rachel who broke the silence that Puck had not realized was so tense. "So Puck, anything happen last night," she inquired with a knowing tone to her voice. Puck's olive skin immediately turned as red as it could.

"You could say that," he replied through gritted teeth, his dream–state now shattered. He was trying, and failing, to act nonchalant.

"And, uh, what was that," Tina persisted.

"Quinn and I fucked, okay," Puck exploded. The girls again shared their knowing looks and grinned at each other before training their smiles on Puck. Puck continued, creeped out by the veiled intent or their smiles, "Speaking of whom, where is Quinn. The note said she'd be here."

"No it didn't. It was signed Q. That could mean any number of things. And if we'd signed it anything other than something that would make you think Quinn was here, you wouldn't have come," Santana explained with her trademark voice that made everything sound as though it were obvious. "Furthermore, we know you and Quinn did the dance with no pants. She told us. And frankly, she was a bitch about it when she told us. She said you were small." This last point infuriated Puck and he opened his mouth to say something but Santana cut him off by raising her hand. "Now I've ridden the Puck Stick and I can personally say there's nothing small about it. Which is why we've come to the conclusion that you need an up-grade to a better class of women. Also, it just so happens to coincide with our latest conclusion about ourselves."

Puck had been leaning forward without knowing it. He was curious now. He asked, "And that is?"

Brittany piped up, "we need to be fucked. Like hard. None of us have been getting any for long time," she motioned at herself and Santana, "or at all," with a wave towards Mercedes and Rachel, "or the stuff we're getting is awful," pointing at Tina. Puck raised an eyebrow at Tina.

"Mike has a dick that's about an inch when hard," Tina elaborated with a thoroughly unimpressed look on her face.  
>"And Artie can't get it up because of his accident," Brit chimed in.<br>"I need to know what sex is like if I ever want to write songs about it," Rachel put forth in her normal tone that indicated it was the obvious reason.  
>"I can't leave high school a virgin," Mercedes sighed.<br>"And I'm just incredibly horny" Santana concluded. Puck took a minute to soak it all in.

"As such, we figured you and the Puck-et rocket would be perfect," Santana proclaimed, leaning forward to rub Puck's crotch through his pants. Puck rose from his chair quickly, perturbed by Santana's actions.

"B-b-but Quinn said I was … huge ... last night," Puck sputtered lamely, surprised at how weak the words sounded.

"Oh sweetie, we know. We all know the drill to stroke a guys ego. And his cock," Santana remarked with her ever-knowing smirk. She then moaned, "Oh ym God. Your penis is big."

"Your penis is so thick," Tina sighed breathily.

"Oh it's just so pretty," Britt said in an almost bored way.

They came together, "You've got a handsome dick!"

"Your penis… is so.. hard!" Rachel yelped in perfect pitch, hands covering her tits.

"Your penis is just so large." Mercedes chimed in, stroking her forearm.

Again they all joined in. "My body is a movie and your penis is the star. Oh! Uh! Ah!" they sang as they writhed.

"You're too big to fit in here," Santana and Britt harmonized, sliding their hands over each others crotches.

"You're too big to fit in here. Ow," Mercedes and Rachel moan, bumping their butts together.

"You're too big to fit in here. Uh! Uh! Oh!" Tina concluded, hands covering her mouth. Puck shifted in his seat, trying to hide his hardening dick. The girls with their sexy voices and suggestive movements were starting to awaken the sex fiend he'd been before he'd knocked up Quinn. The badass Puck who fucked pussy and threw nerds into dumpsters. Santana noticed the aroused dick stirring in Puck lap and nodded in Rachel's direction

Rachel took a seat at the piano bench and began to pick out a low throbbing bass tune. They all began again.

_You're too big to fit in here  
>too big to fit in here<br>too big to fit in here_

_What a lovely ride_  
><em>Your penis is a thrill<em>  
><em>Your penis is a Cadillac<em>  
><em>A giant Coupe de Ville<em>  
><em>Your penis packs a wallop<em>  
><em>Your penis brings a load<em>  
><em>And when it makes a delivery<em>  
><em>It needs its own zip code<em>  
><em>Nine - double zero - penis<em>

_You're too big to fit in here_  
><em>too big to fit in here<em>  
><em>too big to fit in here<em>

_Your penis is so strong  
>Your penis is so smooth<br>Your penis has got a rhythm  
>Your penis makes me groove<br>Your penis is a dream  
>The biggest one I've seen<br>Hot hidden in blue jeans._

_You're too big to fit in here_  
><em>too big to fit in here<em>  
><em>too big to fit in here<em>

_You're too big to fit in here  
>too big to fit in here<br>too big to fit in here_

_Your penis is so big  
>Your penis is so thick<br>Your penis is so pretty  
>You've got a handsome dick<em>

_Your penis is so hard_  
><em>Your penis is so large<em>  
><em>My body is a movie<em>  
><em>And your penis is the star<em>  
><em>"Staring your penis"<em>

_You're too big to fit in here_  
><em>too big to fit in here<em>  
><em>too big to fit in here<em>

_You're too big to fit in here  
>too big to fit in here<br>too big to fit in here._

They ended in a tight group, hands placed all over each other. Puck was rock hard now. There was no way he could sit or twisted that could hide this fact. The sex beast inside him awakened once more, Puck refused to deny it the conquests it deserved anymore.

"So how's this gonna go?" He asked them, his voice low, husky and thick with arousal.

"Told you it would work," Rachel nodded at Santana.

"Whatever. The point is we've got him now." Santana said with a careless wave of her hand. "Anyways," she directed at Puck," we've worked it out. First you'll deal with the virgins. Then the unsatisfied. Then the horny sluts. So first you'll get Rachel, then Mercedes, Tina, Britt, and I'll finish the cycle. And then we start again. And we'll keep having hot, hard, and passionate sex with you until we've all graduated, bowed out, or got a different source of steady dick. You good with that Noah."

Puck fixed his eyes on the sultry Jewess sitting at the piano bench and eyed her hungrily. Her long golden legs. Her gently curling hair. Her distinct face and eyes. He noticed her eyes were lined with kohl, accenting the smolderingly sensual gaze she trained on him. He looked at her as though it was the first time. He noticed that her little black dress highlighted her nicely shaped tits and clung to her perfectly curved hips. Sexual hunger flared inside him and he'd said yes before he realized it.

"Good Noah," Rachel sang in an airy tone. She grabbed his hand and scribbled across it. Puck's dick ached so hard, being so close to her, that he barely felt the pen bite his skin. "Date, time, and place Noah," she sighed again before turning to leave. He watched her walk away, how her ass moved like a piece of music. He hadn't realized that the other girls had left, his gaze was so attached to Rachel.

Puck's haze lifted and he looked at his hand. Rachel's neat script read: My place. Tomorrow. Four.

Puck staggered out of the choir room, making his way to the bathroom with a still hard cock. He locked himself in a stall and pulled at his rod hard. he was so horny that he didn't last long. He came with a series of violent grunts, shooting his thick stream on the stall door.

He exited and left the school. At home, all he could think of was 'tomorrow'.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> The song I used is the Penis Song from the movie The Sweetest Thing, though I did re-write on of the lines. Search for it on YouTube; it's hilarious. Please reveiw! If you don't, puppies cry while Hitler rises from the dead.


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